What Flavor is it?

And now for something completely different!

Well sort of anyway. I'll try not to spout any soul crushing memoirs here today, just some happy news and anecdotes. Yay, something fun to write about!

Bittersweet. It's probably one of my most hated words in the English language. Mainly due to its overuse and frequency of occurance in my life over the past few years, I've really grown to detest the word. However, sometimes it's a pretty apt adjective for the situation and I'm forced to use it myself. And, as I dropped off Cori for 8th grade and Camryn for her first day of Pre-K, I can say it was definitely a bittersweet moment, in many ways.

Obviously, there were many missing parts this year and I really wished Krissy, Dad and Grandma could have seen my girls on this day. Losing them all over the past 2 years has been difficult in so many ways, but I strive to give my babies the life the deserve and need and really tried hard to make this a fun and exciting day. It's a blessing they don't notice the gaping holes as clearly as I do. It really is the one thing that has helped me to wake up everyday knowing that they are truly happy little people. They're not blind, but perhaps we've blunted the hurt by now and I think our every day lives are proof of that.

I'm pretty sure I made a much bigger deal out of this day than was necessary. I spent the few weeks prior to school buying school supplies, backpacks, new shoes, cute outfits (friendly solid colors and prints for the colorblind!) and talking up just how COOL it was going to be when Bean got to school. Turns out I didn't need to hype it up at all. As I pulled into the school parking lot and braced myself for any reaction I might face, Cam belts out "Ok, bye Daddy, have a good day!" before I could even put the car in park. Well, I guess someone was ready for school, and it wasn't me.

It turned out to be a truly enjoyable experience dropping both of my girls off and watching them glide effortlessly into the daily routine of school, friends and teachers. since her first day, Cam has already had to be separated from a little boy for talking to much (shocking) and has worked her way into the heart of pretty much every staff member she's run into. Yeah, I can't wait to see how she does in high school.

Also inspring and definitely not bittersweet (sorry) is Coral returning to play volleyball for her final year at Corpus Christi. I was so happy to hear she was ready to give sports another try and have been very proud of her work ethic in practice and also in her studies. She's been juggling both extremely well so far this year to the point where I'm starting to feel like a third wheel. All she's needed me for is printing papers and handing out lunch money. Not a bad gig if you can get it I guess. I'm just really proud to see her growing into an organized, determined young woman. sort of exactly like another woman I once knew...

As for me, standing in the midst of this whirlwind of school and sports and driving here and there like a good Mr. Mom... has been a blast actually. It's fun! Tiring, exhausting, challenging fun, but I'm thoroughly enjoying this place in our lives. Finally enjoying the opportunity to sit back and realize how much my girls have grown in two years and mentally pat myself on the back for getting them this far. Seems silly, I never expected the wheels to fall of the bus in the first place, but I'm pretty satisfied with where we are all right now. If I had to describe my feelings right now, they'd be anything but bittersweet.