It’s totally cool to sing Hannah Montana songs and then make up alternate lyrics. This usually involves making as many words rhyme with “fart” as possible.
Puke, snot and slobber no longer illicit any reaction other than to calmly reach over my shoulder and grab a burp rag.
Colorblindness is now considered a blessing, as I do not have to participate in choosing either my daughter’s outfits.Nine year old girls are really just 23 year-olds trapped in a small body with no cell phone.
“Free time” is the ten minutes spent showering in the morning, and the 30 minutes before you fall asleep on the couch at night.
It is my job, nay, my duty to get my kids wound up just before bedtime.
If my daughter wakes up grumpy, I do my best to irritate her until she either smiles or storms off to the bathroom. Either way her mood changes!
Girls are born with the knowledge that daddy is wrapped around their little finger.