Before I sat down to write this, I stared at a page of roughly 80 items that have been donated to the benefit auction for Krissy. I keep looking at this page in an attempt to wrap my head around the fact all these people have donated their time, effort, money and possessions for no other reason than to help my wife fight cancer. It's almost inconceivable to me. I'm a fairly proud, stubborn man that has a hard enough time asking for directions, let alone asking for help with the thousands of dollars of medical bills we're accumulating from both Western medicine and alternative treatments. Turns out I didn't have to ask. All of this came about from the goodness of your hearts and before I could blink it's snowballed into so many amazing things for our family. I hope I can say and show my thanks well enough for you all to really understand how much this means to us.
We've been home almost ten days now and I've still got Oasis on the brain. I've been dreaming about the hospital's hallways in various forms for several nights now. These dreams don't really make sense to me, and don't always resemble Oasis as I saw it, but as is the nature of dreams I just know that is where I'm walking when I sleep. I've dreamed of searching for the doctors and staff while slipping on the floor as I walked along stainless steel hallways. I've dreamed of being there with Krissy and eating at El Yogurt, then waking up hungry for chicken enchiladas. I've also dreamed of having cancer myself and arriving at Oasis as a patient only to find everyone else in my family now has cancer as well. They are all there to receive treatments and my heart breaks at seeing them in various states of the illness. I remember crying in my dream, and then elation when I realized Krissy wasn't a patient with me and that she was healed. I had taken the cancer from her and was going to have to be as strong as she was during her fight. The nurses try to give me IVs but no blood would draw until they stuck a needle roughly a foot long into my hand. Afterward I have difficulty walking because the needle is so heavy and I don't want it to break off in my vein. I never found out how this dream ended because Camryn woke me up at 3:30 in the morning wanting to be held. "I hold you Daddy" and I happily took her into my arms, still heavy with the remnants of grief from my dream. I guess I should cut back on the dried mango before bedtime.
Krissy is doing so well back at home. She has been energetic and determined as we get back to our ol' day to day lives. She is now back to work part time and doing great. I could hardly believe how wonderful is was to hear the sound of her voice over my cube wall. The office seemed empty without her presence these past few months. After ten years of working just a few feet away from her you get used to her energy always being there.
Today, Camryn followed the Lanza tradition and came home with her first pair of glasses. She's worn them for very short spurts tonight as we get her used to having them on. I have to say, she's pretty gosh damned cute in glasses. Of course as her daddy that's the only opinion I can form, so I'll let you be the judge. Behold four-eyed cuteness!
My health tip for the day comes not from Oasis doctrine, but from an article I shared with a few people several weeks back. Titled "The 7 foods experts won't eat", their #3 warning is to avoid microwave popcorn. Unfortunately this yummy, buttery snack is full of perfluorooctanoic acid and other chemicals in the lining of the bag. In animal testing, the chemicals cause liver, testicular, and pancreatic cancer and can actually stay in your system for YEARS. Popcorn manufacturers know about this risk and will be phasing these chemicals out of their popcorn bags... by 2015. I recommend switching to stove or air popped popcorn, or even the old fashioned baskets over an open fire if you still have a real fireplace. Toss some Vege-Sal on there and it's movie night!
I only have one update from our Oasis friends and sadly it's not a good one. Sharon is still in the hospital battling the infection from her central line and will not be allowed to go home until her fevers are under control. Her doctors feel that the treatments at Oasis were not effective and have even suggested they feel there has been growth in her tumors. This may be true since she's been pumped full of Western medicine since stepping off the plane. I pray the infection is dealt with very soon so she can get home to her boys, and then return to Oasis to continue the treatments. I have complete faith she'll fight this off and get back on track.
One last note. Our hearts go out to our friend Ricki, as she lost her dog Harper last night. He was an old, sweet, and loyal friend and always a welcome sight around the office. As anyone who owns dogs knows, they are our best friends and truly family. And while this is a sad event, I'm also comforted by the thought that he's now chasing sticks like a young pup with his brother Hunter. Send your prayers out to the Stark family as they heal from this loss.
Krissy is catching up on episodes of the Hills so I might try to get to bed early. Ah, who am I kidding, if I ever got more than 5 hours of sleep I think I'd go into shock. Perhaps I'll find some Fringe or Dexter to watch before I crash. G'night!