Have you ever sat back and wondered what you were doing with your life? Maybe wonder if there was a way to enjoy yourself more or find more time to spend with the kids. Yeah, I have plenty of times before too. Today ended up being a surprise opportunity to take stock of my life and the choices Krissy and I may make as she recovers from cancer.
Today I had a good talk with our friend Ricki on this very subject. She's taking a bold step and making a huge change in her life to pursue the things that will make her happy. I know that even before we learned of Krissy's cancer, I felt we spent too much time focused on the daily rat race and not enough time thinking and planning the things that are actually important to us. Now, every day is precious, and even when Krissy is cancer free I don't want to feel like we wasted a single moment.
The problem, and I'm sure you can all relate, is finding the means to break out of the daily grind and do something fulfilling. I'm not talking monetary means either. So many of the things I'd like to do for myself and my family wouldn't cost a penny, but they'd require effort, time and innovation to pull off. I'd love to start drawing again. I could probably be drawing right now instead of writing on this blog :) But sometimes the effort involved in finding the right frame of mind and the inspiration to put pencil to paper is missing. I've had this problem more often as I've gotten older and decided it's simply because I've let my right brain get lazy. Use it or lose it, and I guess I lost it. Or maybe it's sleeping and I need to wake it up. Is there a Creativity Dog for me out there somewhere?
I also can't see Krissy going to back to the same lifestyle now that she's feeling better. We both have to work of course, but I think we'll focus much less on the day to day stress that any job can cause and more on the big picture of improving our lives and spending as much quality time with our kids as possible. We haven't had the luxury of looking too far ahead lately, but I'd love for her to be able to take some classes or work on some of the business ideas she's had for so long now. She's expressed a desire to council others that are living with cancer and need an experienced ear to talk to. And just today she was offered a part time job at Dr. Jen's office. Krissy has become an inspiration to so many so quickly. I've always known she has too much fire to let it go untapped.
So, what the heck are we going to do about it? Good question. Personally, I've already begun the process of letting go of my hangups that prevent me from being proactive. Krissy is miles from where she started at the end of October and has made so many positive changes in her life already. I feel that this year will be bring many extraordinary changes and experiences to our lives. After all, I don't plan on letting a single moment go to waste.
And now to be completely hypocritical, I'm going to sit on my ass and play some Guitar Hero. Trying to finish Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups on hard is an accomplishment too, isn't it?
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